


dolce

by strawberryfigs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Crushes, Fluff and Humor, Mild Angst, Slice of Life, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:29:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24883099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryfigs/pseuds/strawberryfigs
Summary: Something about Bokuto is just untouchable, like a shooting star, burning bright, or the north star, dependable and always there for someone in need.He’s ethereal, drawing them into his orbit without even thinking, and they're helpless to the pull and not giving a single damn about it.Well. Maybe one damn.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou & Original Non-Binary Character





	dolce

_adagio_

“Where’s Akaashi?” Kei asks, turning their attention from the horizon to the approaching upperclassman. Bokuto rarely comes by himself since he's usually walking Akaashi from his previous class to their hangout spot for lunch. 

“Hello to you, too,” he greets sarcastically. “He texted me earlier saying he wasn’t feeling well. Nauseous or something. He’ll be back tomorrow,” Bokuto says as he walks up while digging through his bag. He sits down with a heavy thud and triumphantly holds up a wrapped onigiri. “Want one? They’re salmon, your favorite!”

“Thanks.” Kei takes the package and sets it in their lap, cupping it with their hands. They return their gaze to somewhere in the distance. Bokuto pulls out another and immediately tears it open, biting into it with gusto. He munches happily for a second before glancing at Kei.

“You alright, Yokino-chan?” he questions through a mouthful. There is a grain of rice on the corner of his mouth. He is happily oblivious to it.

Kei startles slightly, and turns to Bokuto, glancing at his mouth and the rice before forcing their eyes to his. He is looking at them with curiosity as he swallows. They consider their thoughts and decide to ask, “Have you ever confessed to someone?”

Bokuto blinks in surprise and looks to the side to consider it. “I mean...no. Haven’t really thought about it,” he scratches his chin, knocking the grain off, and looks at Kei with a mischievous glint and a playful smile. “You thinking of confessing to someone?”

Kei looks away. Bokuto crowds into their line of vision, hand on the bench next to their leg, lunch on hold for the moment. They try not to think about how close he is to them. There’s still that smile on his face and now he raises his eyebrows up and down childishly. “Oh come on! I’ve known you for almost a whole year and this is the first I’m hearin’ about anything like this from you! You _have_ to tell me!”

Still, Kei’s stare is fixed pointedly on their shoes. They clench their hands together and the onigiri gives a pitiful squelch. It’s released quickly and placed on the bench beside Kei when they risk a glance in Bokuto’s direction. He’s still leaning in their personal space with unbridled glee at the prospect of delving into their love life. Nosy.

“What’s it to you?” they pout, looking down at him petulantly.

He straightens at that, feigning offense, and he whines, “Don’t be like that! I thought we were friends.” It’s his turn to pout. He crosses his arms and quirks a brow. “You don’t have to tell me, but I _will_ find out. Just you wait.”

Kei rolls their eyes and smiles just a little bit. “Oh, shut up. I’m not gonna say.” They hesitate, then, “Can I ask you something, though?” His mock anger is abandoned for interest, and he leans forward again, albeit not as close. Kei sighs, looking back and forth between his eyes, before continuing, “...Say someone likes you. how would you want them to confess to you?”

For a moment, Bokuto is silent. He uncrosses one arm and taps a finger to his bottom lip, contemplating. Kei grabs the wrapped package from beside them and picks at the plastic, mostly to give their hands something to do. They take a bite out of the top of it, chewing and swallowing slowly. They're about to take another bite before he talks again.

“I think I’d just want them to go out and do it. Nothin’ special. No gifts or anythin’. Just honesty,” he shrugs and goes back to eating his food as well. Bokuto takes a swig of water, then continues, “Whoever it is that you like,” he glances teasingly at her, “would be lucky to have you. You’re awesome and fun and it’s their loss if they don’t see that.”

His statement stuns Kei a bit. They had thought that Bokuto would want someone to go all out with a confession, professing their undying love unto him or baking him enough pastries to put a bakery to shame or something like that. It makes sense, though, when they think about it a little more. He’s always been simple and straightforward and they suppose it’s not as farfetched to imagine that he’d want something akin to that.

They're also caught off guard with how easily he gave out the compliment about them. It’s not that he’s not quick to say something nice here and there, as he _is_ an incredibly kind person, but they didn’t expect him to direct it at them. Kei smiles wider, teeth showing and chest warming at the praise.

“Thanks, Bo.” The nickname slips out. Bokuto brightens further, pleased at the affection. He gives a couple of rough pats on their shoulder and shoves the rest of his food in his mouth, chewing merrily. Kei follows suit and they continue lunch for the next few minutes in comfortable silence.

Kei bumps their shoulder against Bokuto’s side and he laughs a little before returning it. It makes the warm feeling in their chest expand out to their fingers and toes, leaving them content. “So…” he draws out the word. “You gonna tell me who it is?” He looks out of the corner of his eye at them, watching as they steal a sip from his water bottle and resolutely turns away.

“Not this again, come on! I’m not gonna tell you.”

“Please? Pretty please?’

“No.”

“Pretty please with a _cherry-”_

They're saved from his pestering and puppy dog eyes for the moment when their phone pings with a message. Kei pulls it out of their pocket and opens the notification. When Bokuto rests his chin on their shoulder to take a peek, they shove at his face and he slides off with a grumble that sounds suspiciously like “rude.”

He thumbs his nose and asks, “Who is it?”

“ _Not_ that it’s any of your concern, but it’s Akaashi-san asking to take notes for him in class.”

Bokuto huffs, “ _Boring_. Both of you are big nerds, with your notes and studying and getting good grades.” Kei scoffs. “I swear it’s like you guys were meant for each other.” He pauses, eyes widening and a smirk slowly forming on his lips.

Kei can see where this is going and puts a stop to it quickly, “ _No_. Absolutely not. I do _not_ have a crush on Akaashi.” After Bokuto prods their ribs a couple of times, they swat his hands away. “Yes, I’m serious. It’s not him. Leave it be.”

Bokuto deflates only a little bit. “Fine, I’ll leave it alone. But you’ll tell me eventually, right?” His eyes are hopeful and his lips jut out just a bit. Kei locks their phone and puts it into their school bag for safekeeping and pats him on the head.

“Sure, you big goof. You’re one of my best friends after all.” Bokuto all but _preens_ at the declaration and pushes his head up into their hand, humming happily. Kei breathes out a laugh at his antics and obligingly runs their fingers through his gelled hair a few times before shrugging him off. He lets out a groan at the stop in attention but sits back up with little resistance.

“You’re one of mine too y’know, Yokino-chan? Best friends I mean,” he says with a genuine smile as he gathers his bag and slings it on his shoulder. He stands up as he does so before offering a hand to Kei. They accept it and lets him pull them to their feet, the other hand wiping the crumbs off their lap.

“Yeah. I know, Bo.” They share a grin and then Bokuto drops thier hand and gestures in the general direction of the main building.

“Want me to walk you to class?’

Kei nods as they do every time he asks. It’s more a formality as they’ve been doing it since they, Akaashi, and Bokuto all got closer in the first few weeks of knowing each other. Normally he'd walk Kei and Akaashi back to their shared class and he’d go to his class on the floor just above them.

They start on the path and take up chatter about the pleasant weather and upcoming tests as they walk. Kei relishes their time together and wonders briefly how long it will last before turning their thoughts back to the cheerful boy next to them.

_crescendo_

It’s Kei’s start of their second year. By some miracle, they are placed in most of the same classes as Akaashi, one of their only good friends. They’ve been friends since the start of high school and they think it is safe to say that Akaashi enjoys their company as much as they enjoy his.

Bokuto, now in his third year, still spends as much time as he can with the two of them. He’s been made captain of the volleyball team, with Akaashi as his vice, so he is a lot busier than he used to be, but he makes it work. All three of them had spent most of the summer doing things together, like going to the movies and heading into town for festivals and street food. Sometimes, the rest of the team would join them, but more often than not it was just the three of them.

When they couldn’t afford to do anything, though, they’d spend their afternoons tossing and receiving a volleyball, despite Kei’s unfamiliarity with the sport. At first, they'd been _terrible_ , but with the help of Bokuto and Akaashi, they'd improved considerably. Don’t get them wrong they're still not very great at it, especially when compared to the captain and vice-captain, but at least they could hold their own when it came to practice with the boys.

They’d become pretty much inseparable after that, no one seeing one of them without the others. They had a solid friendship between the three of them and they were happy with what they had. That, however, did _not_ stop Bokuto from _constantly pestering_ Kei at any given opportunity about who they had a crush on; in fact, it spurred him on even more. Akaashi had even started taking an interest in the mystery, although he wouldn’t be as insistent or meddling as Bokuto is.

Still, Kei kept a tight lid on the matter. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust either of them with the secret, because they did with their life, but it was just too private of a matter. Maybe one day they would, but that day still has yet to come. So, they keep her crush to themself and firmly denies whenever Bokuto would make wild guesses of people in their class that he hardly even knew the names of. Akaashi wouldn’t ask, but he _would_ helpfully supply Bokuto with the names he couldn’t remember as a way of showing his curiosity.

Unfortunately for Kei, the crush hadn’t diminished as they hoped it would. Rather, it has snowballed into this huge and constant _thing_ that they couldn’t ignore even if they tried. It was beginning to be a bit cumbersome to conceal their feelings with no one to open up to, but they were nothing if not stubborn. They wouldn’t let this take control of their life. They had to keep on top of it.

“So when are you gonna confess to them, huh Yo-chan?” Bokuto asks one day as he sets the ball to himself while lying in bed. Akaashi has taken over Bokuto’s desk with books and notes while Kei spreads their own out on the floor next to the bed and behind Akaashi. Akaashi hums his encouragement of the question while his eyes scan the pages in front of him. He jots down a line in his notebook and turns his attention to Kei, who keeps their stare on the textbook in their lap, loathing the blush that rises in their face.

“When are you going to let this go, _Bo-chan_?” Kei retorts, mocking the nickname Bokuto gave them sometime in the spring, pretending not to delight in it. They sigh and set the book off to the side before clasping their hands and stretching them above their back, pulling until it gives a satisfying couple of cracks. Akaashi wrinkles his nose at the noise (even though he cracks his knuckles at every opportunity, the hypocrite) and depresses the chair lever to be more level with Kei, clearly welcoming of a reprieve.

Bokuto catches the ball after it almost hits him in the face and sits up, tucking it under his arm; he’s also eager for the break since Akaashi and Kei have been studying relentlessly despite it being only two weeks since the end of summer vacation. He smiles teasingly at Kei and singsongs, “ _Ne-ver_.” Kei rolls their eyes. Bokuto brings this topic up more than they'd like, and they still didn’t bother to come up with a better deflection. Once Bokuto sets his mind on something, he won’t stop until he gets what he wants; he’s almost as stubborn as Kei is.

For once, Akaashi is the one to keep the discussion going. “You’ve been harboring this crush for quite a while now.” He’s not wrong. They've had it pretty much since they first told Bokuto, who obviously couldn’t keep the secret from Akaashi. “Don’t you think it would be beneficial to tell them? Or even just us?”

“Not you too, Akaashi,” Kei moans, throwing their head back. They hold eye contact with him for a moment before huffing. “I promise you guys that I am surviving just fine without revealing to someone my ‘innermost feelings,’” they mime quotation marks with their fingers. In truth, they find the idea of being that vulnerable to _anyone_ , no matter how close, a little unnerving. They pride themself on being strong and self-sufficient and being that intimate just did not sit well with them.

Bokuto pouts, a frequent expression when this particular topic is brought up. He sets the ball aside and places his elbows on his knees, fingers interlacing. Now, he’s fully invested in the conversation. “Why won’t you just tell us,” he gripes. Another recurring component of the matter.

Akaashi makes a noise in agreement. “I have to admit, at this point, I’m pretty curious who this person is myself.” Bokuto shoots a grateful look his way at his support.

He pipes up before they can respond, “I mean, they’ve gotta be pretty _awesome_ to catch your eye.”

Kei’s heart thuds a tad bit harder in their chest. They shuffle so that their back is against the adjacent wall to face their friends, giving themself a moment to reply. “I swear, if I’m telling anyone, you guys will be the first to know.”

Bokuto grumbles, “Yeah we better be.” He sullenly plops his head into a hand and places the other on the ball. He gives up on his badgering for the moment and moves onto another subject. “Either of you down for some practice?”

Akaashi checks the time on his phone while Kei shoots a glance out the window opposite from them. It doesn’t seem to be that late, but it _is_ nearing the middle of September, so it’s still fairly hot and humid outside. Bokuto seems to realize that, too, as he looks reluctant to even entertain the idea, even though he was the one to suggest it.

“It might be a bit too hot for me to be...exercising,” Kei decides, essentially summing up what was on everyone’s minds, although it is fun to see Bokuto in his element. “Not unless you can physically change the temperature, that is.”

Bokuto sulks for all of two seconds before brightening considerably.

“No,” Kei and Akaashi say at the same time before Bokuto even gets the chance to open his mouth.

“Wha-! I didn’t even get to say anything that time!” he exclaims, throwing his hands in the air.

“You didn’t have to,” Kei deadpans. They almost laugh at his endearing mannerisms but maintains a straight face.

“You had that look,” Akaashi agrees with an impassive expression.

“You guys are no fun,” Bokuto sticks his nose in the air and crosses his arms. “Just so you killjoys know, I was _going_ to suggest we turn on the hose sprinklers.”

Akaashi and Kei share an exasperated look and turn to Bokuto in sync.

“That,” Akaashi says, “is a _terrible_ idea.”

“It may be one of your worst ones yet,” Kei nods their head solemnly. Bokuto pouts further. They try not to find it cute. Akaashi rolls his eyes and leans over to pat Bokuto’s knee.

“Let’s go to the convenience store and get some popsicles to cool off a bit,” he suggests. Bokuto beams at this and jumps up to pull the others to their feet.

“Hey-! My books!”

“Bokuto-san-!” Akaashi hisses, narrowly avoiding trampling Kei’s textbook spread. Bokuto laughs, unconcerned, as he tugs his friends towards the door, unbothered by their dilemma.

“No time! Gotta get there before it closes!”

Akaashi and Kei give each other a commiserating glance before giving in and tugging their shoes on to keep up with Bokuto rushing out the front door.

_sustain_

Kei is, as you could say, firmly in a pickle. They are in a downward spiral with no way out. An all-consuming mess of feelings with no navigation whatsoever. Right is up and left is down.

Well. Okay. _Maybe_ They're being a _tiny bit_ overdramatic. But, hey, they feel they're allowed to wallow a little. Sorta.

The _problem_ is that they have to recognize their feelings for what they are. First and foremost, they’re incredibly inconvenient.

More importantly, however, they are in love with their best friend, Bokuto Koutarou.

Their wonderful, talented, amazing, goofball of a best friend. By far the kindest person Kei has ever met. A boy who is going to _go_ places, show the world just how bright of a star he truly is.

 _This_ is decidedly _not_ overdramatic. Bokuto has always seemed more than just an ordinary person. He’s meant to _do_ things, meant to illuminate other people’s lives, meant to _be something_ , and make the world a better place for it.

Something about Bokuto is just untouchable, like a shooting star, burning so bright in the sky that you can't help but look in its direction.

He’s _ethereal_ , drawing them into his orbit without even thinking, and they're helpless to the pull and not giving a single damn about it.

 _Well._ Maybe one damn. Really the only trouble with this whole “liking and maybe being hopelessly in love with Bokuto” thing is that _he_ likes and is maybe hopelessly in love with _Akaashi Keiji_ , their other best friend.

Which, yeah, okay. That’s not hard to see or understand. Akaashi is wonderful, and a perfect foil to Bokuto’s entire being. He is cool and collected, where Bokuto is exuberance; cunning, where Bokuto is fierce; serious where lighthearted.

Akaashi is everything Kei is not, which is fine, it’s great because he’s perfect for Bokuto and who are they to stand in the way of that?

No one, that’s who.

So they'll pack away their feelings, swallow that bitter pill, and cruel twist of fate so their best friends can get their chance at happiness. It’s fine. They'll be okay.

_dissonance_

In a blur of practice, studying, games, and life, the year is over and Bokuto is graduating. His high school career is coming to a close, and soon he’s going to be leaving Akaashi and Kei behind for bigger and better things.

Obviously, he’s not really going to abandon them, but things are certainly going to change. It’ll be different not having Bokuto’s light around at all times, chatting cheerfully at lunch and in between classes. No one will be there to talk their ears off about what he's going to eat or how many tosses he spikes successfully or what they’re going to do after class. The thought brings a sharp ache behind Kei’s breastbone, and it’s most likely this that spurred her into action following Bokuto’s graduation ceremony.

“Hey, Bo, can I talk to you real quick?” Kei tugs on his sleeve timidly, stark in comparison to their usual confidence. Bokuto separates from his family and Akaashi, who are all congratulating the boy and discussing where to continue the celebrations for food. Akaashi eyes the pair briefly before turning back to the conversation with Bokuto’s mother about college plans.

“What’s up, Yo-chan?” Bokuto asks with an easy smile once they reach a more secluded area by the steps, away from prying eyes. He leans against the railing and focuses his attention on Kei, wondering at their sudden nervousness.

“Okay,” they start faintly, then clear their throat and try again. “Okay. I know...this is a little unfair of me to be springing this onto right now, but I can’t really keep it to myself anymore and I just have to know.” They wring their hands together before forcing them down by their sides and blurting, “I really like you! I...i’ve liked you since we first became friends in my first year, and that’s why I haven’t told you who my crush is this whole time. It’s you and it’s always been you and you’re so wonderful and amazing and I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t tell you now before you left...and...yeah,” they trail off, suddenly at a loss of words.

Bokuto blinks, bewildered. His mouth opens to say something, but thinks better of it and shuts it instead; he doesn't want to say the wrong thing. He stares at Kei, who is now blushing intensely and looking down to the left as if fearful of his response.

He isn’t sure how to respond. He thinks back to that first conversation they had on the bench two years ago, when they asked how he would like to be confessed to, and feels a little silly for not expecting their feelings to be for him. To be fair, they did keep a tight lip about it, but he still feels he should have known one of his best friends a little better than that.

“I…” Bokuto tries. It’s rare that he doesn’t have anything to say. Usually, it’s him who is never shutting up and bouncing from one thing to another with hardly a breath in between. Now, he’s utterly speechless.

Kei glances up at him, their expression inscrutable. At this, Bokuto realizes he needs to say something quickly.

“I’m sorry,” are the first words out of his mouth. His heart aches as Kei’s face shutters, a pang of... _something_ flickering across it before smoothing out again. “You’re one of the most important people in my life, Kei, please, believe me, but-,” he cuts himself off and shoots his gaze from his shoes, the sky, the railing that Kei is leaning on, before settling vaguely above their left shoulder. “There’s...someone else that I like.”

Kei doesn’t seem very surprised by this. They look Bokuto squarely in the eyes, assessing for a moment before diverting their gaze as if to ignore their tears. “It’s Akaashi, isn’t it?”

Bokuto squawks, “Wha-! How-?”

“I just...had a feeling,” Kei cuts him off. They sniffle before continuing, “Kinda hard to ignore the signs when you know what to look for.” They shrug and smile, self-deprecating, at the reminder.

Bokuto doesn’t know how to proceed. He scrambles for something to say this isn’t “I’m sorry” or empty platitudes, but Kei speaks again before he can even try.

“It’s okay Bokuto,” he feels a bit whiplashed at his full name, “like I said. I kinda knew anyway. No hard feelings.” They tuck their hair behind their ear and cross their arms in front of themself, almost defensively. It’s clear that they're trying hard to act like this is an everyday interaction, rather than a painful rejection.

He flounders for something to do. He wants to hold them, wipe their tears away, _something_ to help, but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to get any closer. He feels like he’s betrayed them somehow, even though he knows he’s not really at fault.

Once again, they beat him to it. “I could really use a hug right now,” their voice wobbles and Bokuto wastes no time pulling them in and shielding their face by guiding their head into his chest. They hiccup a few times and bury their nose into the join of his neck and shoulder and try desperately not to cry.

Kei honestly feels a little pathetic, crying in the arms of the very person who rejected her, but Bokuto has also been their biggest source of comfort and they really can’t help themself. This is the exact reason why they didn’t want to say anything. They feel vulnerable and exposed and _weak_ which is so contrary to everything they believe they are.

It feels a little like their foundation is crumbling and a lot like every breath is sending minuscule glass shards deeper and deeper into the mess of their heart. As they try to swallow the lump in their throat, they register Bokuto stroking their hair with a strong arm around their back, humming nonsense into the air above them. This makes them want to smile just a touch, but they mostly want to lock themself in their room and never come out again.

Even when it’s not his fault, Bokuto still takes the blame and shoulders it himself to bear the feelings of someone else. It’s in his nature to protect and defend and bare his teeth at the people threatening the ones he loves and this is no different.

They know that this was how it would always play out in the end. They acknowledged a long time ago that he would never return their feelings, and they would be left trying to pick up the pieces of their fragile self. They know that Bokuto and Akaashi are perfect for each other and that they are meant to be. They knew, they knew, _they knew._

But knowing what's to come is different than experiencing every one of your worst fears, and they take selfish comfort for a few more moments in Bokuto’s arms and pretend for a little longer that it doesn’t quite hurt as bad as it actually does.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't plan on anyone to see this, so if you read this, no you didn't :)  
> this fic was VERY self indulgent and i still didn't even make it have a happy ending wow. wrote this all within 24 hours with no beta so all mistakes are made by me :)


End file.
